Tonight I had dinner with my dad at Cocos. He didn’t want the mustard on the table. The waitress said he didn’t have to eat it, they just like to keep it there in case someone else wants it. He insisted it be removed from the table.
He asked for bread. They brought it and an extra plate. He set the bread on the table and began buttering it. Asher asked him why he didn’t put his bread on the plate. He didn’t answer. Instead he poured pepper all over it and the table. Asher was exasperated trying to understand his motives for table destruction.
He asked the same lady for A1 sauce three times. She told him she’d bring it but he kept asking anyway.
Then he asked the waiter all number of questions about himself. Where he lived, where he was born, why his name was what it was, whether or not he was married and how he felt about his significant other. Then he wanted to know what the guy thought of him. Did he think he was a good customer or bad? And what about his daughter? Which one of us did he think was his daughter? He was delighted when the guy guessed incorrectly, of course, it’s a trick question because two of us are his daughters. So the next one is which one is more beautiful?
The steak had to be rare, the pie had to be cherry, and the kids had to eat free.
When we were driving home he was in front of us. I’m sure he didn’t realize it. When the light turned green he didn’t go. I took the opportunity to toot my horn. Upon doing so he let go of the brake and began driving. Slowly. Very slowly. I mean the guy crawled so that not only I but all drivers behind us would pay for my little honk. I, of course, was laughing so hard I couldn’t speed up past the five miles an hour my dad was going anyway.
Asher was disgusted. Orion said dinner was ok until Grandpa asked what topic he should discuss when we bring Orion’s great grandmother next week: sex, religion, or politics? That was over-the-line, I guess. I just reminded him that it’s only dinner, I had to LIVE with the guy. And look at you now, my son said, laughing about it!