Several people have asked me when I’m going to blog again and I’ve answered with various excuses but the truth is I have been writing, I just haven’t written anything I wanted to publish. I haven’t written anything I’d want anyone to read. It’s not that it’s badly written it’s just that it doesn’t contain any insight. There’s no point to my writing lately. It’s a waste of time to read it. It’s just words slung together in complete sentences that don’t add up to any wisdom.
So to get me back in the swing of things, I’ve decided to answer today’s wordpress topic:
Who was the first person who believed in you? How did you discover this was true? Have you played a similiar role for anyone in your life?
Don’t expect any kernels of gold here. This is more like a sample of why I haven’t been publishing blog posts.
So to answer the questions, I suppose it doesn’t take a Grand Master to figure out that my mother was probably the first person to believe in me. I think she just said that the other day. She loved me even though I was a girl. But that’s probably not the answer this question is looking for.
Believe in me? What does that mean anyway? Believe in what? Believe that I could accomplish something great? ( I haven’t) Believed I wouldn’t make bad choices? ( I have ) Believed what? This sounds like some kind of weird American twentieth century self-esteem question. I think I’m supposed to describe some experience where someone believed I could do something that I didn’t think I could do or was difficult or involved luck or chance or some shit. I suppose that’s happened and sometimes I’ve succeeded and sometimes I’ve failed despite all atta-girls and you-can-do-its.
Maybe a more interesting question is the latter. I think I have had the opportunity to help other people believe that they could accomplish more than they might have otherwise. I remember specifically playing cheerleader over and over for others who didn’t have the energy to do it themselves. But now I’ve learned that that isn’t necessarily even a good thing. Apparently, it’s better to focus on being your own cheerleader and let others take care of themselves. And sometimes they can’t. Sometimes they just can’t and it’s ok to put the pom-poms down and play the game yourself. I guess that’s all that really matters in the end, what you believe about yourself-